Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The trouble with america

The trouble with america is the population: they're americans.
OK, so some are mexicans too, but Mr Bush is trying to sort that little issue out.

america used to have the reputation as having the biggest and best of everything. And, when it gained that reputation, it was fully justified, as they did indeed seem to have both the biggest and the best of everything. But while their standards have slipped, their egos certainly haven't, and that's where the problem comes in: america still thinks it's the most important place in the world.

While the democratically elected president is widely and vocally criticised by geeks deluxe on their important little blogs, they are, in fact, being entirely hypocritical. For while america doesn't own Iraq, america also doesn't own the blogosphere.
All of which begs the question: why must we non-americans, who make up the majority of the blogging public, have to read their dull posts on american issues, such as local politics, baseball, american "football" and their wonderfully exciting reality TV series'?

I can only think of two reasons:
1. Perhaps they just don't care about anything outside america, or
2. Perhaps they don't actually realise that there is anything outside america.

Either way - goat-blowing american blogs which ignore anything unamerican have no place in the Trollmeister Controlled Blogosphere. As Thom Yorke once sang:
"When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
With your opinions which are of no consequence at all."

Now go buy an atlas...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Mother's Day

Aww. It's mother's day.
Cue millions of sickening "Mommy, I love you" posts, the manic despressive brigade coming out with the "My mother never cared" posts and the achingly dull second-by-second posts describing every dull aspect of "Mommy's special day".

Example:
"We came back home Sunday early, because I had to work. After work, Jesse picked me up, we went and got the kids at Moms, visited my Grandmother, then came home, were [sic] Jesse had already done all the housework!! Even Laundry! He fixed a great supper, bathed the kids, put them in bed, Then turned on my Greys Anatomy and..."
Shut up. Just SHUT UP!

The weird thing is that all these mommy bloggers seem to think that their posts are unique, individual, worthwhile, original. I have news for you, ladies...

And here's an interesting woman: [LINK]. She thinks she should be paid for her job as a mother. I'm sorry, but I disagree. It's your choice to pollute the earth with your 4 (four!) kids. Stop bloody whinging.

I was going to link to other mommy blogs, but I guess you're just as sick of them as I am, so I'll spare you. Sadly, I think we all know that they're out there.

NEXT ON TROLLING FOR FUN:
American Idol - Why the rest of the world really doesn't give a toss.
Thursday 13 etc - For bloggers with absolutely no creative spirit